Tuesday, July 3, 2012

the daily to do list

at the moment i am living life one day at a time. 
it is so easy to get overwhelmed. 
its the big stuff like feeling inadequate as a mum and wondering what to do about a certain child's attitude and whether it's just that they haven't had enough one on one time and if so, when to fit it in.  it's also the little things like will i ever remember to send the letter that has been sitting by the phone for a week or that the children have lice which means more washing to my already behind laundry pile.
and then the lack of sleep....
when i get my head up i know that to try to for see how i am going to get through the next month or 6 months even [with ruby not sleeping and life in general racing by at a crazy pace] is not helpful and results in fear and anxiety which leads to a unhappy mama.
whereas if i just focus on doing my best tomorrow..the next moment even, then life seems more manageable.
if i keep in the forefront of my mind that these babies will soon be running around and this messy, noisy house one day will be clean and quite, that these big kids will one day be living their own adventures.
if i really open my eyes to see beyond all the things I'm not doing and behind in i may see that  despite the drain and weariness this. is. it. 
this is really living.
so if i don't get the folding done or the paper piles organized but i sing and dance with my chubby babies, kiss my bigger ones and tell them i love them,  snuggle with a book to my middle ones...then it has been the most successful of days.

yes, the daily to do list...

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