still : beauty

silence fills the weary spaces of my being

stillness is like raindrops on this parched soul

slowly I unfold

open up

the Son's warm rays ignite

I am me

in his warmth I am me

I am still

and beauty surrounds

Amazing husband and father has taken our four wild and precious children camping for the weekend so I have had this usually bustling and busting home all to myself. No noise, no messes, no food to prepare....just the beautiful sounds of silence. My heart is bursting with gratitude.

Of course I can't wait to see them in a few hours. They will burst out of the car fighting and pushing to get in the door first, all hold me at once, talk at once telling of all the things that daddy did with them that perhaps would be better if I didn't know.

smiling

As I was sorting through some piles today I came across a collection of the children's drawings and oh how I smiled. There is something about a child's drawing that just gets me, its so pure in its expression of that moment, it captures a joy, a wish, a dream, a feeling. It is so authentic.

So here are some of authentic moments that are bringing a huge smile to my face.

in the seeing

ugly: table scratched & stained
beautiful: handmade placemats collaged by the children sewn by Mama

ugly: the sad death of a loved pet
beautiful : the process of saying goodbye and remembering

ugly : things broken

beautiful : the broken being reused for 8yog to grow her first crop of potatoes

There is so much beauty ...its all in the seeing...

gratitude-through the ugliness

Not the prettiest bunch of flowers but still special and very beautiful to me.

Six year old boy lovingly hand picked them, filled jar and left them on the kitchen window sill for my eyes to see and know beauty and his love.
These small but so significant moments are reminders to me of the beauty in the everyday, the overwhelming, even the ugly. Though I feel as if there has been alot of the ugly around here the last few months there has also been an incredible amount of beauty in many shades and colours.

Some of the beauty around here :

~ children making together happily in back room

~ warm breeze blowing through home

~ banana cake devoured by all

~ oldest boys prayers-'help me treat Mama special and listen to her'

~ homemade cards, heartfelt scribblings

~ the youthfulness that fills (to overflowing) this home

~ family night-fun and food

~ sun and soft sand

~ chatter between two tired travellers

~ her growing frame & knowing eyes

~ his playful face

~ sounds of outside songs reaching inside

~ sparkles in bright eyes when ideas ignite

I stop. to notice. to breathe. to let go. to yield. to give thanks.

In the moment:: morning time together

An anchor to our days is gathering around our coffee table in the morning for what i have called morning time together. After I call out 'morning time' they run from various parts of the home, collect their candles there's usually a scuffle-I got that one' and finally we settle down and come to share and learn, to give thanks and ask to him who has given to us.. At the moment I'm reading through 'Leading little ones to God, after that we sing and then light a candle, give thanks for various things- Zach particularly thankful for the songs that the birds sing in the morning and the different greens he sees in the trees. Bella usually mentions Apricot and Speckles (our chickens) Jasmine consistently prays for the homeless or our sponsor children and Jett will pray for daddy that he would make alot of money and not be stressed.
This particular morning when the children had finished praying I told them I'd like to bless them each before they run off and so excitedly they lined up all giggly, anticipating what I would say. I lay my hands around them each and blessed them with words inspired from the one who knows them better than I. Afterwards in thier joyous voices they stated that it was my turn. And so with their young soft hands and innocent hearts they blessed this weary, limping through her life mama with wisdom and strength to hear His patient loving voice.
They all skipped away but me... I was still, with a sense of awe and a tangible feeling of love. His love that came through the prayers and faith of four young hearts. I had wanted to bless and I was the one who walked into the day completely touched and full of joy.

in the moment:: mental health day

We had plans...I had plans. Our week was full of projects, copywork, maths, making, reading. I had planned the books, the tasks to be completed by the end of the week.
And then Monday morning. It hit me with such a thud added to that one very difficult nine year old boy and I knew I wasn't going to be up for the day. After some collecting of self moments I suggested to all lets go have a picnic and then stop at the library on the way home. It was for my own mental health .. I needed nature...perspective in the vast open skies and the free spirited songs that fill the trees.

And it was better.

Teacher/ Parent- the work within

'... as a Home Teacher, you should be continually striving to unfold the potential
within yourself so that you can respond more deeply and spontaneously to your child. In working
with children, it is never the techniques you have learned through the years that cause them to develop
their capabilities. Rather, it is the strength of your being, the light of your understanding, and the love
you have for them as fellow beings that draws the latent spark of individuality within them into active
manifestation. It is this that makes teaching such a difficult endeavor. To be an effective teacher, you
must persistently seek to unfold and refine your own strengths before you can ever hope to unfold
and refine the strengths in your child. '

I found this quote and felt that yes it really is the constant work of us as parents and educators that will bring such benefit to our children. Its not what we say but how we live that speaks to them. And so I keep placing myself in the refiners hand...

christmas cards in september

Ahoy me hardy!

Mr Zach has lost one of his front teeth and it adds to that gorgeous constantly grimy face to make him look like a little pirate and with his cheeky grin I can't help but smile every time I look at him. Now there's something to be hugely thankful for!!
Who is making you smile today? Please share the Joy!!

weekend snapshots : fathers day

Finally a few moments to say what a lovely Fathers Day we had despite absolute exhaustion and weariness from both parents. A day of connection and togetherness with each other, family and friends and despite me feeling a bit slack at the amount of effort I put into it, that is the big breakfast on a table all decorated beautifully (I did offer to shout him to lunch), the things that really matter were tangibly felt.

SDO: some sewing

While Matt had the children for some daddy time I sat myself down at the sewing machine. I didn't even tidy first. I knew they would be home before long so I took full advantage and chose to fill up my mama-needs-to-do-something-creative-tank.
I finished the backyard blanket which was basically a thrifted sheet sandwiched together with some old terry toweling-its not really large enough for all of us but for my first go it gave me an idea of what I will do next time.
Jett put in an order for a large pencil case with a pocket for his rubber and sharpener so that was next-now I've got orders from the other two.
A couple of skirts for the girls using a thrifted pillowcase and a pillowcase dress for Jasi. I think i filled my makin tank at least for another week. It is such a joy to see the children wearing clothes or using things that have come from my hands and heart-even if I am a beginner sewer-I am really catching the bug.

In the moment ~happy messes

giving thanks:
~a table full of children all painting in bright happy colors
~a little girl who only want to paint in pink and not just on the paper but all around her
~ a little girl happy to go into the bath with 'her girls' so mama can clean up her happy mess.
~friends who accept and love in all sorts of weather
~a co-operative (mostly) game of creating obsatcle courses and timing eachother

Happy Spring!!

Life feels so full at the moment which is wonderful in a exhausting kind of way but it also is easy to be pushed along from one thing to the next, one need to the next, one chaotic moment to the next... and yet I am right where I am meant to be . How to live mindfully and present in each moment is my challenge; letting go of the next thing over there, that three piles of washing here, the messy backyard , the dinner preparation, muffins for afternoon tea, a blog post, an e-mail, the linen closet needs resorting, the homeschool work needs organising and i really want to sew an apron for Bella and, and, and...these things in themselves aren't bad and do need attention but they can pull you away from enjoying all that the now moment has. Those little, simple graces that fill our days and feed our soul if we but notice.

So, for September this first month of Spring I am going to notice and consciously give thanks in my heart and mind as we meander through our full days and here in this little space.

So for today-
~the prayers of my children at our morning time-for others and for me
~pink painting in pj's
~lunch in the warm sun and the cool air
~the delight from youngest girl in her blossoming white Snapdragons
~goodness in food-eaten and read
~the crazy game of memory between Mama and her boys
~the made up songs loud and unabashed from a heart full of praise
~the way she smells, the softness of her chubby cheeks, her loving embrace
~the deep loving touch from the one who knows, has always known who I am and accepts, woos and whispers his heart to mine

May Spring be a month of Joy as we give thanks and know that He is good.

when you need to cook dinner...

and she just won't let you put her down: Move her seat and books into the kitchen and that will give you 1o minutes, next get her help in washing the potatoes and leeks and finally give her the packet of frozen berries to dish out where she will eat more than gets in the plate, clean her up while dinner cooks.

an average kind of day

and the little moments,

humble though they may be,

make the mighty ages

of eternity.

weekend snapshots

:: new shoes for mama-along with some other goodies found at secondhand shops
:: little girls playing at big girls
:: fresh eggs excitedly brought inside from chicken lover
:: letter from one sibling to another-how this swells the mama heart

:: flowers collected from roadside by my flower girl

Hope your weekend was full of loveliness in many forms!!

gratitude

Don't you just love the way when finally asleep after several grumpy hours they just snuggle up all cosy like that and look completely adorable...and seeing them so peaceful fills the heart with such enormous love you would go through countless grumpy hours for the gift of knowing this
wild and precious being.

weekend snapshots

:: Breakfast- maple syrup drizzled over grapefruit

:: creating- a four in one camera, video player, telescope and magnifier with a box full of film all ready to go

:: Beautiful outdoors- story time with lots of friends

:: resting (and reading) - amidst the leftovers of play

:: SDO- a new project started with the help of Missy

:: family night- watching the second series of Roman Mysteries and enjoying fruit dipped in chocolate sauce.( agave syrup mixed with cacao powder)

thinking & doing

Sewing:
For so long I've been thinking of sewing this or that and when the time comes where I might have an hour I kind of freeze up, can't decide on what to sew, what fabric to choose and on.. After the funk of this last week I became a little desperate to make something ..anything.
I always think a little better with the least amount of noise so when my husband took the children out- I suddenly got moving. My hands cutting, sorting through materials and my head keeping out of the way. My new sewing machine given as a generous gift by my mil, was smooth and humming along without any naughtiness and it was all just right.
I went to bed that night saying to my husband sounding very much like my children- Look did you see what I made?!
Well I havn't finished it and this next bit will probably take me forever but just maybe if I keep a basket by the lounge or the bed I might pick it up and do a few stiches here and there you know in between feeding the six of us and cleaning up after all that eating and reading the twenty or so books Bella brings me to read to her at rest time ( and other times), and reading the Hobbit to the elder two which I'm trying to just keep to one chapter a night but Oh I had forgotten how good it is.
So here it is my first ever little quilt... for a very special little someone.

out of the funk and into green skies

This week we started out doing the normal week that is us.
Jobs, breakfast, morning time together and then the older two get to their weekly lists and I juggle between Zach and Bella and tidying up and you know all the other stuff.
As the week wore on I was quiet... not the good kind of quiet but the drifting off kind of quiet, it took to towards the end of the week for me to connect with the funk I was in but on Thursday in stead of going to our weekly art class we stayed home and got out the watercolors, some monoprints the children had done and made happy with some colour.
By the end of this session the color on these paintings was lifting my voice from its quite place to the colorful exuberance and all there is to love that I saw in the kids paintings so I hung them up around our lounge windows and as I've been looking at them I give thanks, smile and am glad for the moments around here where we can just be, the children around here who help me out of funkiness into green skies and speckled orange suns.

in the garden

We spent most of the weekend enjoying the beautiful weather- gardening, finding new hideaways, making new places to play, eating and giving leftovers to the furry friends . It was refreshing and gave me much inspiration for some summer gardening...definitely some veggie plots this year.

sewing for Bella

A while ago when I was on a sewing buzz I made the children some place mats , Isabella was breast feeding so I decided I'd do hers later well last week she noticed that she didn't have a place mat and sweetly asked wheres mine?- that's about all it took to get me to sewing. She was so happy the next morning, she carried her place mat around all day showing anyone who was near. Now I'm thinking what next?

pure joy

Bella with one our baby guinea-pigs

weekend snapshots:: from Sydney

inside and out

meaningful learning

'As often as possible, we want to leave the work, the interest, the ideas, the solutions, the suggestions, the purpose, the guiding, the questioning, the excitement where it belongs — with the child.'

'They will work energetically to construct knowledge — to add bits of information and knowledge together and make something that is bound together with meaning.'

'But so often, we don’t give them something whole to work with. We give them broken bits and expect them to concentrate, memorize, repeat back — even though those bits don’t have meaning. They don’t make sense. (And I mean that in the deepest sense of the phrase — they do not create real understanding.) And they are swiftly forgotten.'
-inspiring words from Lori at Camp Creek Blog.

And so it was with Jett and his garden.

the love and determination of a 2 year old

One of our many guinea-pigs Stardust was brought inside recently as she was showing a very ready tummy and needed to be put into the 'birthing centre' as Jasi calls the inside hutch. It was only 2 days of waiting when we discovered  3 little babies joining her. Now I just need to keep them safe from little two year old hands which are desperate to show much love. I had told her when the babies are a little bigger she can hold them but right now they need to be with their Mama.  Two days later Bella declared 'the babies are older now!' which of course was true but not old enough. 

experimenting in the kitchen

Zach had been asking for to do some experimenting and make up his own recipe, so I let him at all those foods we haven't been using in our cooking the last month.

eggs, flour, water...
add LOTS of cocoa....

put in the oven and bake....hmm...'too much cocoa Mama'.

Oh well treats for the chickens, Missy got some too.

a day is...

full of questions-

- I am so tired how on earth am I going to get through to the end

-how am I going to be all they need today

-will I have what it takes to be cleaner, food preparer, dispute settler, negotiator, nurturer, rythym keeper and so on.

full of limitations-

-I haven't even got my feet to the floor and they need wheat free, egg free, sugar free, dairy free everything free breakfast, lunch and dinner and I don't feel like getting my head around it today. - First born son is ungrateful, unhappy with everything and everyone and if I see that snarl on his face one more time I'm going to send him to bed for the day without any books.

-The very thing I so desire to create here - a place of grace and warmth is something I never had and my dreams last night brought back memories of a childhood filled with pain, now I hear the banter between them, it has started early today-'you ugly pig how dare you pinch me!'
Oh Lord how to teach grace when I feel empty.

full of mistakes-

harsh words and lack of patience

a day is... also full of....

GRACE

his mercies are new every morning.

chickens and three more

I love seeing the chickens wander freely in our backyard and hearing them talk at the back door. I love giving all our scraps to those chickens knowing its not waste but going full circle. I love how Isabella comes to the kitchen with an egg in her hand saying 'look what Lou-lou made for me!'

It makes me feel like a piece of country is right here with us in suburbia.

And so it couldn't have been more perfect when at our weekly art classes the children made chicken baskets out of clay. They painted them in acrylic and we now have three more chickens making themselves at home- dracula , lou lou the 2nd, and silverwing.