Some days my heart hurts so much. It's usually the days when I've managed to have no errands in town or no appointments at the school and I'm sitting in this big empty house. It's not really empty, there's Missy and Tommy, BJ, the chicks and the ducks ouside. It just feels empty. Its so quiet. I can hear strange creaks from the walls as if the house is talking. I hear the washing machine spinning the clothes to their death. A tap drips. I miss them.
I look up and see them in the frame and I wonder why, oh, why did I send them to school?!
This place begs for activity and creative pursuits, crazy running around and read alouds in front of the fire. Now that they are at school I feel I don't have time for any of that. I'm barely managing to make sure they have a clean uniform. Problems are cropping up that we never had to face when they were at home. So much is out of my control. The child who is so much more swayed that I realized, the other one who is so tired they aren't there usual easy going self, and the eagerness for the little one, only four, to be like the big kids.
It certainly not all bad, there is so much goodness abounding for them. I just have these days sometimes. I miss them.