warm love

monday morning musing

2012-01-23T12:18:00.000+10:00

'We want to feel, acknowledge, and see how exaggerated, eccessive, and absurd our false energy really is. If we own and take responsibility for our darkness, if we feel how it has wounded ourselves and others, how it has allowed us not to love and not to be loved- if we do that,.. we will become alert to the other side, to our greatest gift, or rather, the actual depth of our gift. Our gift is our sin sublimated and transformed by grace.'
Richard Rohr, The Enneagram

and some baby photos just because:

the last two weeks :: 1

2012-01-20T12:59:00.001+10:00

Where to start and to coherently describe the last two weeks with a foggy, lack of sleep state of being that I'm in? It might be easier to copy a page from my journal, my ongoing list of things I'm thanking God for :

:: the gift of staying at our friends home (which was minutes from the hospital), and it truly felt like home, so much so that the kids cooked and played as if in thier own space

:: bottles. yes bottles-this time would have been so much harder if I had been the only one feeding these two babies.

:: the big kids helping to settle and soothe

:: a beautiful German girl able to help and occupy the kids

being close to the shops and getting all the school needs including haircuts, which would have been much harder being at home

:: friends to help pass the time away

:: being able to walk to see daddy at the hospital each day

:: these two cute little babies, I'm so thankful for when they're not crying and I can see more of who they are

2012

2012-01-03T13:57:00.003+10:00

I was going to start this new year, this first month of 2012, marking moments. The mundane, the everyday- the stuff that makes our lives.
I was going to celebrate the new year with friends..I imagine we would of had a bonfire outside, red wine in, talk of our heart whispers for the coming year, reflect on the amazing year that was.
I imagine laughter and lots of kids running around, plenty of hands to hold unsettled babies, a BBQ on and a trip at the waterhole.

This 2012 has not at all begun the way I'd imagined.

New years Eve found Matthew being helicoptered to hospital after having an accident at the waterhole, we are waiting to hear more news at the seriousness of his injuries.
Friends did come- to support and hold unsettled babies. Make coffee, take big kids for a swim, pray.

Despite not having time to reflect or savor the passing of one year to the next I hold close the fresh reminder that - life is a gift. And the everyday moments of our lives are extraordinary: a friend who wraps their arms around you, a hot cup of coffee, a child's laughter, a friends offer to mind the kids, a meal shared,
-it's all a gift.

I go into 2012 not at all how i imagined but I go in feeling deeply rich and with the knowledge that though dark times come there are flickers of hope everywhere if i look. I hope that 2012 finds me more full of thanksgiving and contentment than ever before as I fully live the mundane, the everyday moments: the extraordinary.

gift giving :: handmade

2011-12-29T14:55:00.000+10:00

special time of year

2011-12-26T08:40:00.001+10:00

special times,

moments to etch in my mind;

moments of family and fun :

the night before xmas

2011-12-25T13:29:00.000+10:00

a friend drops in much

attempting to settle two windy babies

watching 'Elf' and having cuddles

afternoon movie watching

some presents open and some yet to be

brunch with family

snacks for Santa and Rudolph

movie watching
baby settling, holding, feeding, loving
children giggling
little one taking herself off to her big bed (so santa comes sooner)(a first)
frogs croaking
rain pouring
lights twinkling
present wrapping while watching Modern Family
sacks and stockings waiting
biscuits, milk and carrots sitting in front of fireplace
two new babies not knowing its their first xmas
fruit for dinner
milo before bed
carol singing
a mama heart grateful for this wild and precious life

weekends are for

2011-12-18T08:54:00.003+10:00

making gingerbread men :

December around here

2011-12-16T22:43:00.001+10:00

today I'm thankful for

2011-12-08T21:22:00.000+10:00

managing to think of a simple craft that enables this one to get her hands messy

a new toy from a dear friend- so fun and now I can instantly glue moments to remember in my journal

summer fruit

her wonder

green views outside

seeing my oldest and youngest boys together

these babies will have a thousand kisses

right now

2011-11-29T09:04:00.003+10:00

Holding babies

sleepless nights, anxious thoughts

2011-11-28T08:56:00.000+10:00

Another Sleepless Night
I'm turning in my bed
long before the red sun rises.
In these early hours
I'm falling again
into the river of my worries.

When the river runs away
I find a Shelter in Your Name:
JESUS...only Light on the shore,
Only Hope in the Storm.
Jesus, let me fly to Your Side
There I would hide, JESUS.

Hear my anxious Prayer
The beating of my Heart
The pulse and the measure of my unbelief
Speak Your Words to me
before I come apart
Help me BELIEVE in what I cannot see
Before the river runs away
I will call upon Your Name:
JESUS...only Light on the shore
Only Hope in the Storm
Jesus, let me fly to Your Side
There I would hide, Jesus.

Amen.
song by Fernando Ortega

a moment to remember

2011-11-25T12:14:00.000+10:00

and so it begins

2011-11-24T15:34:00.000+10:00

the newness
the milky smell
on me on babies
the finally getting to put head on pillow
yet it was just five minutes and I'm up again
the washing piles getting higher each day
the gazing into those windows of the soul
as they start to be awake a little bit more each day
the relearning of so many things
but oh how it all does come back
and yes I'm more confident than I realized I would be
the worries
are they getting enough milk
why are they so windy
am I eating something that causes it
the skin still looks a little yellow
the unspeakable joy
she's looking at me Mama!
soft skin on my skin
I'll get the wipes for you Mama!
the windy smiles
the little clenched fists around my finger
the open, eager mouth searching for Mama's sustenance

despite this being the fifth (and sixth) time it's all new and I'm
marveling at the wonder of birth and new life

They Arrived - 10 November 2011

2011-11-12T07:54:00.000+10:00

Ryder James - he is on right

Ruby Grace - 23 minutes later

right now

2011-11-06T13:02:00.001+10:00

I am :

~ waiting for these babies and hoping they will be sooner rather than later

~ treading slowly through the days as I get bigger and movement becomes more difficult
~ writing lists and lists- baby needs, house jobs, errands to be done, Xmas, animals chores, cleaning jobs and it goes on.
~ suddenly aware of how little I have in preparation for two new little ones soon to join our family
~ having bouts of wide-awakeness at night (and so mentally making more lists)
~ grateful that husband is able to be home more
~ trying to yield to what is and where life is at and let go of all that I haven't or won't be able to get done before babies
~ so happy with my new purchase for our newly relocated bedroom
~ feeling rich from the love and ease of spending a weekend with the best girls ever.
~ eating oranges, fresh juices, berries, and tomato and cheese on corn thins
~ waking up to the sound of our white silky rooster
~ thinking of ways to spend some special time with my oldest three before the babies arrive- cups of tea and a movie, snuggles in bed with a book, stay-up-late night...any other ideas?
~ missing terribly the closeness of friends
~ watching the garden come to life after the hard work of one very special lady
~ wishing for a magic wand that would clean and organize this busy home

~ enjoying the talent of our 11 yr old as he cooks yumminess for us: this one is apple and berry pie

~ and here are more right now's around here....

right now

2011-11-03T12:24:00.000+10:00

I'm SO over it.

(36 weeks with twins)

a puppet show

2011-10-23T19:11:00.001+10:00


We had our very own Puppet Show during the school holidays. Jett, Zach and I sat and watched a very exciting and somewhat violent story put on by our very own Director: Jasmine and her sidekick Isabella. I am looking forward to more shows and perhaps our director may allow some input from other equally creative storytellers.

paper pile from Jasmine

2011-10-20T12:51:00.001+10:00

My desk has been staring at me in all its chaos and slowly I am trying to get it sorted. During one session I found some bits of paper that I could never throw out. This little group is all Jasmine.
{Smiles and heart tugs}

weekends are for celebrating

2011-10-02T07:33:00.002+10:00

Happy Birthday Honey!!

making me smile

2011-09-28T07:28:00.000+10:00

making cards

eating outside under the pear tree

watching the chickens

seeing her face, feeling her love, missing her already

holding my big girl

living in the country

2011-09-19T17:27:00.002+10:00

is amazing!
The landscape at different times of the day changes into differing views of beauty. The wildlife that comes and goes depending on the season is a wonder for all of us (at the moment it's mating season for the Echidnas and we are seeing many on the property). The connection with creation is ever-inspiring and helps put life's annoyances into perspective.
BUT.....
my patience and tolerance for a particular little bird has come to an end : the Swallows.

When we first came to view our would-be home and I noticed a swallow swoop into this barn-like house, I was a bit enchanted. These are cute little chaps that make such a lovely chattering sound as they busily go about the day. Of course I didn't for one second consider the practicalities of what it would like with those little cuties swooping in and out, day after day, month after month.
As spring arrived the swallows have once again returned and they are busy. They have decided that inside our home is the best place to raise their own little family and so as soon as a door is left open in they swoop with dirt in their tiny little mouths to build their own abode. And although the process of watching these clever creatures build their nests is quite amazing, all I am noticing is how the walls are not white anymore and the floor and furniture have splats of whitey black marks that are making my already not-keeping-up cleaning list even longer. Yes, I have had enough and am trying to come up with a solution to keeping these mess-makers out of the house. This is certainly one area that I didn't foresee when we listed the pros and cons of moving to the country.- the dealing with bird splat on the walls.

weekends are for friends and fires

2011-09-11T14:18:00.001+10:00

gratitude and art

2011-08-30T16:20:00.003+10:00

4yr old girl- 'Mama with her blue veins and twins'

8 yr old boy- crayon and water colours

4 yr old girl- learning to write

It has been a while since I posted some of the children's drawings and sorting through some paper piles the other day I came across these and they made me smile. I will never tire of my kids bits of paper and their art.

weekends are for

2011-08-27T07:43:00.000+10:00

moments of grace
where mama makes favourites
kids gather around happily
mama smiles at the wonder of them, all four

some moments to remember from FIJI

2011-08-19T14:21:00.000+10:00

a bit of now

2011-08-10T07:26:00.000+10:00

~ a few weeks ago we got the news that not just one little bun in this oven but two. It has taken me some t i m e to adjust to this news and to be honest am still adjusting but I have four more months to get used to the idea and then the reality will hit us all.
~ taking one day at a time and some days one moment at a time.
~ ice-cream in the middle of the day, ice-cream for dinner, after dinner and pretty much any time...

~ bed usually by eight sometimes earlier
~ the bath is getting a lot of use, usually with lavender added
~ looking forward to a week away with the family to rest and have some good family fun

spiky and cute

2011-08-05T10:35:00.001+10:00

We found (more correctly the dogs found), this lovely but very shy Echidna on our property recently and spent the whole afternoon patiently waiting for it to unfurl so we could get a look at its cuter side. After a long wait and some words between siblings everyone except Zach decided to give up or be called back when something more exciting occured. Watching Zach sitting there by himself in the cold waiting reminded me so much of myself and my love for animals when I was younger.

A while later I spotted him with the proudest and amazed look on his face as his gently tried to carry his new friend to a spot nearer to the house so that 'Daddy could see him when he gets home'. Daddy wasn't going to be home for another few days but boys can hope.

monday

2011-08-01T16:59:00.000+10:00

There's distance in the air and I cannot make it leave
i wave my arms' round about me and blow with all my might
I cannot sense you close, though I know you're always here

But the comfort of you near is what i long for

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear everyword I pray
And i want you more than i want to live another day
And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful

All the folly of the past, though I know it is undone
i still feel the guilty one, still trying to make it right
So i whisper soft your name, let it roll around my tongue,
knowing you're the only one who knows me
You know me

Show me how I should live this
Show me where I should walk
I count this world as loss to me
You are all I want
You are all I want

(faithful by Brooke Fraser)

beauty is present

2011-07-22T12:53:00.000+10:00

Despite some very hard weeks
there is beauty everywhere,
if I look, seek it out, gather it up in my heart, take note.

first frost

his cooking in all its first-born perfection

Camellia's from the garden

mental combat

2011-07-07T13:08:00.000+10:00

Surrounding myself even bombarding myself with words that are positive and good, I am trying to rewire these negative brain patterns, this habit of negative thoughts.
It is said we can shape our brains.
So wherever I look my eyes find a reminder, a word to replace the tape that plays.

school holidays

2011-07-05T17:12:00.003+10:00

the list

tuesday :: cleaning and craft with Bella

2011-06-28T11:19:00.000+10:00

A little picking of flowers from the garden and then arranging on a piece of contact, fold over add holes and ribbon and hang in window. Very satisfying for Bella and nice and easy for a sick of being sick Mama.

my happy ten.

2011-06-26T13:51:00.000+10:00

Today the sky is the clearest blue, the sun is warm and there is the slightest most gentle breeze...such a perfect winter's day.
My happy ten for these days of winter....

* his voice as he sounds out the more difficult words and that smile when he gets it.
* knowing daddy's home for the weekend and there will be good times, good coffee and a more balanced household (also mama gets some rest)
* making space on the kitchen bench for the bread machine, using it for the first time in ages and loving the smell of warmth as it fills this space.
* hearing this new baby's heart beating, making all this yukkiness count.
* friends visiting- good company and yummy food by the fire!
* Oh the fire!
* making use of the fact that I need to constantly be eating to ease the nausea, by spending more time than usual in the kitchen trying new recipes...loving Donna Hay's Seasons for inspiration.
* school holidays start next week. We might get that chapter book finished.
* her latest- 'Mama, I know how to count to a thousand: one, two, skip a few, a thousand!!'
* Daddy and sons playing table soccor together, making loud, joyful noise.

tuesday :: cleaning and craft with Bella

2011-06-21T13:17:00.001+10:00

Again only a wee bit of cleaning, more of a tidy really but yes definitely craft with my girl. After making some dough we made some letters together and baked them, when they were dry Bella had fun painting. She then spent time putting all her letters together to make her name and also some funny ones. A fun and easy craft to do for Mama and Bella.

last week

2011-06-21T11:21:00.000+10:00

Despite a nasty flu knocking us down I got to spend hours reading, playing UNO over & over, drinking lemon tea and just being with my boys. It was a disguised gift.

weekends are for

2011-06-19T16:35:00.001+10:00

making soup

installing water tanks

trying new recipes and finding an absolute winner. Thankyou Jett!!

washing, brushing and just being with BJ

lazing in the sun together

working on his garden

racing down grassy hills, catching the light in those golden tresses

reaching up high to pick the best fruit

finding beauty outside in the small and below in the large

weekends are for being together, soaking in the warmth of the sun and eachother.

when life gives you lemons...

2011-06-09T12:52:00.000+10:00

make lemonade.

Or lemon cordial.

Or Lemon tart.

Or Chicken stuffed with Lemons.

After discovering a Lemonade tree laden with fruit on the farm I spent a day squeezing and cooking yummy lemony things. I think the tart was the favourite and I couldn't believe how easy it was!
Zach took some of the Lemonade fruit and the cordial for his 'news' this week at school. And the kids have been enjoying Lemonade with dinner all week. Jett is planning on making Lemon Curd this weekend which he is a bit of a master at, so I'll have to make scones or pikelets.
I'm on the hunt for more lemony goodness since we have a whole tree in the back that shouldn't go to waste...I'm thinking a Lemon slice next.

Pondering

2011-06-07T13:49:00.000+10:00

This quote used in The Ragamuffin Gospel........

Eugene O'neills The Great God Brown
"Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter?
Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and the sky and sea?
Why am I afraid to love, I who love love?"

today

2011-06-04T18:30:00.005+10:00

Gratitude :

Autumn Beauty :: 5

2011-06-03T11:40:00.000+10:00

pumpkin soup

Autumn Beauty :: 4

2011-06-02T13:42:00.001+10:00

outside brought in
time spent with little one making flowers

Autumn Beauty :: 3

2011-06-01T14:01:00.003+10:00

gift from friend
still hard to believe feet that tiny will be held in my arms

Autumn Beauty :: 2

2011-05-31T13:41:00.000+10:00

breakfast in a patch of warmth
sun coming up over mountains
stillness

Autumn Beauty :: 1

2011-05-30T13:35:00.000+10:00

seeking beauty this week

as these first months of pregnancy yukkiness and challenges around the farm have got me down.

I love this time of year and as this is our first Autumn on the farm I'm opening my eyes and heart a little wider to see the beauty that sometimes passes by without me noticing.

The colors, comforting food, blazing fires, fresh crisp days...beauty to see and enjoy.

not ballet!

2011-05-24T16:04:00.001+10:00

This little one has been asking to do 'Ballet' for months and while I searched for somewhere not too serious she kept asking and reminding me. So when my Pilate's instructor (I've been twice so far) said she was starting ballet lessons for her daughter and a few others, would Bella like to join in I thought it would be the perfect. I didn't realise it was going to real ballet and the teaching of positions..can you see how much she is concentrating? When she wasn't trying her best she was making faces at me that looked a little like 'rescue me! After it was all done she announced that she would not be doing ballet, 'maybe when I'm 5' she says. Oh well, another outfit added to the dress-up basket. And how cute does she look especially with the texta that she decorated her face with an hour beforehand!

wish list

2011-05-21T07:36:00.000+10:00

love this farmhouse kitchen sink

a wall of books with a cozy chair nearby..what could be better?

This is going on the Christmas List

Oh, what a dream, my own gardening room, no-one would see me for days.

Have a great weekend with moments of laughing, eating good food with those you love and plenty of cuddles with the little ones ( and the big ones).

the house feels empty

2011-05-20T12:35:00.000+10:00

Some days my heart hurts so much. It's usually the days when I've managed to have no errands in town or no appointments at the school and I'm sitting in this big empty house. It's not really empty, there's Missy and Tommy, BJ, the chicks and the ducks ouside. It just feels empty. Its so quiet. I can hear strange creaks from the walls as if the house is talking. I hear the washing machine spinning the clothes to their death. A tap drips. I miss them.

I look up and see them in the frame and I wonder why, oh, why did I send them to school?!

This place begs for activity and creative pursuits, crazy running around and read alouds in front of the fire. Now that they are at school I feel I don't have time for any of that. I'm barely managing to make sure they have a clean uniform. Problems are cropping up that we never had to face when they were at home. So much is out of my control. The child who is so much more swayed that I realized, the other one who is so tired they aren't there usual easy going self, and the eagerness for the little one, only four, to be like the big kids.

It certainly not all bad, there is so much goodness abounding for them. I just have these days sometimes. I miss them.

cuteness

2011-05-16T14:31:00.000+10:00

These ducks have grown so fast and they are full of squeeky cuteness. While big sister gave their home a clean, the ducks got to come inside and have cuddles, to the delight of the other children.

a new skirt for Bella

2011-05-04T13:33:00.000+10:00

I don't do much sewing but when I do I love the way children are so proud to have a 'Mama sewed all by herself' item. It draws me back to want to make things and try harder to carve out the time for Makin Mama time.

ten good things

2011-04-27T11:26:00.000+10:00

1~ swallows against a grey backdrop

2 ~ a visitor drops in

3 ~ unusual snacks (for me) to help the incessant morning sickness

4 ~ firewood delivered to meet the demands of friends camping over Easter

5 ~ her love and spirit matches that of her horse (actually the horse is far tamer than her)

6 ~ the pure joy from 'belly flopping' in the mud

7 ~ a daddy who sets up the coolest slip n slide ever

friends visiting
children Easter hunting

10 ~ learning a new skill

tuesday :: craft

2011-04-22T13:00:00.000+10:00

in the garden ~ plants and books

2011-04-08T09:09:00.001+10:00

One of the joys for me about moving here is inheriting some lovely plants and the exciting journey of making the garden our own. There have been many plans talked about and lots of garden dreaming going on. Inspiration and information was found in a book store having a closing down sale. Yippee for me!
Gardening is a slow creative work which takes lots of tweaking, mistakes get made and corrected and all the while the spirit is fed, the mind calmed the heart sings. This is what gardening is for me. Hope you all find some time to be in the garden this weekend!
Warm Love,
Skye

weekends are for

2011-04-03T21:42:00.004+10:00

getting six chicks and two ducks for the girl who just turned four.

in his own time

2011-04-01T09:15:00.001+10:00

Our third child, this boy that grabs my heart strings, his soft round cheeks, his full of wonder and love brown eyes and the smile...always that smile.

Strong and tender, so easy to love but not so easy to teach.

I would back off, give him space to wander outside, climb those trees, make concoctions but if I got the books out he'd resist, roll the eyes mumble something like ' not another story' or the worst, the one that hit deep ' i hate books'.

I would find myself crying out to God ' help me with this boy, how do I instill a love of books in this boy who is so stubborn, resistant?'

Always I'd come back to this: acceptance, patience and now and again slipping in a book about rocks or reptiles. Slowly, ever so slowly and gently suggesting this one over here on snakes or that one on mammals.

The questions come frequently: Am I not doing the right things? Should I be firmer? Have I spent too much time on the older children and not enough time reading with Zach? Am I not seeing something?

And then always I come back to seeing this boy with the sparkle in his eye and wonder in his heart.The love on his lips and I see him whole and perfect just as he is in this moment right where he is meant to be. I pray as I let go of my agenda for this moment that one day he would have a love for books perhaps not as I do but in his own way.

This year as the very rhythms of our days have changed dramatically and this boy, this one who could never sit at the table for me, this boy who resisted my every effort...well- he blossoms before my eyes!

He reads! Yes, yes he reads. Is it wrong to be so excited? I try not to make too much of it but inwardly I'm all shouts and yippees. It's not just the reading, it's his attitude; it's flipped to be motivated, excited and proud. He SO wants to learn. What could be better than that- children who want to learn and know they can!

I do wonder though; is it the teacher? Does she have a knack with him, a way with him that I didn't? Or is it timing? The seeds had been planted and waiting for the right season to flourish? Perhaps a mix of not being threatened by two older, louder seem-to-be-able-to-do-all siblings; maybe being amongst kids who are all at different stages and it's acceptable and normal. ( Zach is in a class of Kindergarten, year 1 and 2).

What ever the reasons this boy is flourishing and that brings such joy, and I humbly give thanks to the one who leads our path and continues to lead this boy and his Mama.

for simon

2011-03-31T13:40:00.000+10:00

i love you xxx

public school and yet

2011-03-28T07:28:00.004+10:00

Living a creative inspired life is my heart for my children, a life where they think for themselves not just swallow information; a life where they explore and test and discover.

This year finds three of our four children at a small school and during fragile moments I worry.

I worry that they are being institutionalized; that they are being fed information and worksheets without the discovery, the thinking for themselves.

I worry have I sacrificed them to the system because I couldn't handle the deep waters of home education.

During those times (especially), I look around and I see the little 'life corners'. Those little spots where inspiration can be found to discover, to look into, to take note, to imagine, to dream.

I might make a little 'tea-time', some yummies with tea-cups and read some poetry or have them read to me.

Home Education is a heart attitude and I remind myself that even though they now go to 'school', I am still in the little things, the details creating an atmosphere of life and education.

thanking our way through Lent

2011-03-24T16:34:00.000+10:00

Thinking about the lead up to Easter
what does it mean
to me
to our family
how do we want to celebrate Easter

I have been writing my thankyou's in my visual journey for a few years now
I covered some Moleskins and talked to the kids about easter
about all good things
about the giver
I suggested they keep their own book
writing down those good things
how many could they get down
a way of remembering
noticing
the Giver

With such enthusiasm have they taken on their thankyou books
each day leading up to easter we note down
the countless ways
He loves us

isabella turns four

2011-03-22T13:37:00.001+10:00

the kitchen sink

2011-03-21T07:06:00.001+10:00

Thought I would join this lovely idea today as I can relate to this post.

big girl ten

2011-03-19T14:32:00.000+10:00

after dinner yums

2011-03-18T12:05:00.001+10:00

weekends are for

2011-03-13T10:07:00.000+10:00

celebrating birthdays with friends...a great day at Movie World.

tuesday :: cleaning and craft

2011-03-08T20:53:00.000+10:00

Today I didn't get much cleaning done as little miss 'really need mama' by her side for most of the time but the most important things got done and that is time spent with my girl, time I'll never have again and so tonight I walk through the house with floors dirty and bathrooms needing help but I'm OK with it. For whatever reason, something unseen was going on in my little three year old today and I yielded (after self-talking) to her and she must have told me ten times how much she loved me this afternoon...so I'm thinking perhaps her little love tank needed re-filling and quality time together seemed to help fill it up.

Today we gathered up some of the stones that have been making their way back home from the waterhole and did some rock art. Isabella chose various fabric which we cut out and painted on the rocks with PVA. So simple and yet satisfying and Bella has already put aside some as gifts and some as 'magic stones' to play with. I'm using a few as page holders.The kids wanted to do some after school but a trip to the waterhole is required to gather more.

Bella has rephrased our Tuesday 'cooking and craft day' and today we made a yummy lemon cake for afternoon tea which was so nice as we all had honey tea and warm cake when the big kids were home from school. A lovely day indeed!

pondering

2011-03-07T20:13:00.001+10:00

'When all of our idols are taken away, all our securities and defense mechanisms, we find out who we really are. We're so little, so poor, so empty—and a shock to ourselves. But God takes away our shame, and we are eventually able to present ourselves to God poor and humble. Then we find out who we are and who God is for us. That is how an enslaved people became God’s people, Israel.'

Richard Rohr

'In a certain sense we are on the utterly wrong track. We are climbing while Jesus is descending, and I think in that we reflect the pride and the arrogance of Western civilization, always trying to accomplish, perform, and achieve. We transferred much of that to our version of Christianity and became spiritual consumers. The ego is still in charge. When the self takes itself that seriously, there’s no room left for God.
Richard Rohr, February 2011

'The desert period knew that you did not think yourself into a new way of living, but you lived yourself into a new way of thinking. Let’s allow ourselves this Lent to seek new life settings for ourselves, much more than new ideas to discuss and shelve.'
Richard Rohr, February 2011

My heart whispers this new week are that I would be aware of Him,
that I would be yielded to his work within,
in and through all aspects, all moments of each day
that I would not get in the way

weekends are for

2011-03-06T13:26:00.000+10:00

painting, color creating, brightening up and getting messy.

a lesson in cow care

2011-03-03T20:08:00.001+10:00

With our local friendly farmer along side us, we had a lesson on rounding up the cattle to tag and band. I stayed long enough to get a few shots and when it became a little bloody I decided inside was calling. It was an experience and confirmed my thoughts on the type of farming future for me- one that does not involve blood. Give me dirt and green, horses- oh yes, calves that need milking I can do but herding stubborn cows and banding away their ability to produce offspring ah no.
These Herefords are doing a brilliant job tackling the grass that was growing well above the children's head and keeping us all away for fear of running into snakes. the first few nights the calves ( though they looked too big to be calves to my untrained eye) cried all night for their mothers but they soon adjusted and now they happily graze and graze. Certainly not as cute looking as Norman and Grace who are no longer with us they were causing a lot of trouble escaping and in Isabella's words 'they've gone to grow up' .
I think after this exciting day Matthew got a taste for farming and we are certainly taking as many opportunities we can to experience all we can of and on the land.

What could be better after this hot, smelly work than to head 2 minutes down to our local waterhole-such a treasure and delight.

tuesday :: cleaning and craft

2011-03-01T20:27:00.001+10:00

I'm learning a new rhythm this year, one in which there feels a little more breathing space.
As part of my new week it's helped to name the days. On Tuesdays its our cleaning and craft day.
Isabella helps me mop floors, wipe down surfaces, gets bored and plays in her room while I finish off. We also do craft. During the week we talk about what we will do or she may look through some of our craft books and choose something.
This lion mask activity came from an animal art book and I remember using alot when Jett and Jasmine were younger. Isabella had so much fun as she saw it all come together and was so pleased with the result. As soon as the kids came home from school she got her mask on and roared the afternoon away trying to scare those older animals.

noticing

2011-02-28T08:27:00.001+10:00

the extraordinary roses we inherited with the house

the wonder and awe the children have for all the new and different bugs, beetles and little critters

this one- the way she is growing in personality and individuality; her spunkiness and sweetness all wrapped up in a funny and bouncy package. So delicious..

all the rocks, leaves, shells and flowers that are added to the nature table

his passion and determination for his garden

the strength and beauty of our (actually not our horses but just living with us for a time) two horses- seeing and hearing them makes me smile with wonder

the simplest things that bring joy and pleasure

weekends are for...

2011-02-20T05:46:00.000+10:00

market finds : vintage books & cutsie cups

Art

2011-02-16T10:18:00.001+10:00

Today I am going to get some pens or paint maybe some paper and glue,
whatever I choose I will make.

Not caring for the end but enjoying the process, I will open my heart and express whats inside.

And I think I'll have this song in the background.

a link

2011-02-14T21:35:00.000+10:00

A post from the Parenting Passageway that I want to reread and remind myself of so I thought I would share it here in my reminding space... especially at the moment as an unnamed someone travels through some ups and downs of growing into themselves.

And some unrelated images just because.

When Your Children Are At Their Worst….

February 8, 2011 by Carrie

You need to be at your best.
You need to set the tone. Quietly.
You need to calm down.
You need to use your hands gently to help.
You need to approach your child in a true manner that shows you actually want to help them.
You need to be able to pass this duty to someone else in your family if you cannot do it right this minute. This does not mean you have failed, it means you are human.
You need to still be able to love your child, even if you don’t like them this minute.
You need to know this too shall pass.
You need to know life is full of these moments.
You need to know there is no perfect peaceful house.
You need to know that your child is not doing this on purpose.
You need to know your child loves you and wants to connect with you more than anything.
You need to know you are doing your best.

birthday richness

2011-02-13T12:38:00.002+10:00

I got spoiled this year and it felt so lovely!
So much love and warmth from family and friends did good things to my soul.
Homemade yumminess, beautiful words from young hearts (and old), time spent with hands in the dirt, a visit to local markets all made this a special day. I feel so rich.

right now

2011-02-07T21:37:00.000+10:00

I am-
~ feeling so grateful for the green that surrounds me in the form of trees and hills and new plant life.
~ enjoying reading Eldest to the two older ones..I don't think I will ever tire of reading aloud and thankfully at eleven and ten they still love to snuggle and listen.
~ listening to the wind in the trees
~ wondering how to be all that I feel is within amidst all that needs to be done without
~ surviving the heat by reading in a cool bath whilst eating the divine Burnt Fig ice cream by Maggie Beer and sipping a glass of red.
~ loving seeing the passion my eleven year old for his garden
~ planning where to plant my ghost gums, jasmine and banksia vines, lemon and lime trees and a bunch of flowers.
~ watching the way my seven year old is adjusting to the new routines of school life and feeling so proud.
~ anticipating a day with the best friends a girl could have eating, celebrating and making.
~ thinking about how to navigate the ups and downs of a young girls emotions and moods as she transitions through to double digits, school cliques, new responsibilities, sharing a room with a four old, pushing and pulling needs and wants... I'm chanting to myself 'connection and boundaries'.
~ accepting my limitations and trying to live in the gift of this moment not in the disappointments of yesterday or the worry of tomorrow

today

2011-02-01T21:27:00.000+10:00

Today Zach spent his first day at school...I cried.
Today Matthew and I celebrated thirteen years of togetherness.
Today Jasmine had her first horse riding lesson..wow did she smile from ear to ear.
Today my 11 year old boy cooked us all dinner.
Today Charlie the orphaned 3 week old Hereford arrived
Today I lay on the grass under the pine tree and looked up at the amazing shapes of the pine needles and the blue sky and felt the wind caress my skin

Today I gave thanks

enjoying our days

2011-01-25T13:01:00.000+10:00

I have so enjoyed some slow days lately (as slow as you can be with four children).

Kids in the kitchen, kids in the garden, reading together, me cleaning up kitchen after kids, me in the garden...well it has been delightful!

favourite photos from 2010

2011-01-14T15:09:00.001+10:00

hopes for the year ahead

2011-01-12T10:31:00.003+10:00

I hope this year I -

have more joy than ever before!

delve deeper into my faith and find a faithful community to join and pray with.

fall in love with my spouse again and again.

ENJOY my children and have FUN with them.

learn some new skills and enjoy the process.

garden

read and read

will be the most gentle parent I can be.

forgive myself

become healthier by exercising and eating healthy foods.

care less what others think

learn to live in the now

have more gratitude than ever before

have a warm home where love is felt and life is experienced to the full

quiet the voices that steer me away from my true self

have a cleaner, more organized home

am outside and active as a family in all seasons.

sing

spend time with the friends I hold dearest

take a holiday no matter how short

a good end

2011-01-03T12:24:00.001+10:00

To end 2010 it felt good to climb this mountain and shed the stuff that I don't need or want to carry into the next year. To think over the year past and the year ahead during five hours of putting one foot in front of the other. To be awed by the creative beauty and just breathe.
This was a good end to a year full of change and upheavals of all sorts. And a reminder to myself that despite difficulties and darkness, despite brokenness and betrayal there is hope and light, and if I can keep on believing one step at a time I will soon come to *see* and gain some perspective.
This mammoth walk was a way to reset my mind and heart on the things that are good and leave behind yesterdays sorrow and disappointment and embrace the now.

Goodbye 2010 and thank you for all you taught me and where you lead me.

present love

2010-12-29T18:23:00.001+10:00

I have to say my favourite present this Christmas was from-the-heart homemade vouchers that were given from kids to mum, dad and each other. What about you, what was your favorite gift this Christmas?

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T12:23:00.000+10:00

the din undoes me

2010-12-22T13:00:00.000+10:00

Thinking about this poem this morning as the noise in my own mind overwhelms.
Refection, silence, appreciation for the now and stillness of the mind seem so out of reach and yet apart of me knows that is all that matters...being present in this moment and all it has to offer.

Today despite my failures and harsh words I will start again.
After all isn't that what advent is about.
Grace.

Yes please, Grace.

christmas happenings

2010-12-20T22:16:00.000+10:00

picture the holidays

2010-12-09T19:35:00.000+10:00

'reflecting the season'- the kids are all asleep and I enjoy a glass of wine in the stillness and the lights

'reflecting the season' - I'm so loving the new spaces to create festive moments in our new home.

'Express yourself' - feeling tired and worn and it's showing.

outside and in

2010-12-06T21:11:00.000+10:00

Opening the Christmas boxes is anticipated with much excitement. Putting the tree up, finding old favourite decorations and books, listening to music - it's pretty hard for this day not to be wonderful.
A new tradition joined the list this year as Daddy made chocolate balls and we watched A Christmas Carol.
Our first Christmas in our new home and despite the constant rain outside we are all enjoying the newness and wonder of the season in new and old ways.

picture the holidays :: the view from here

2010-12-06T20:45:00.000+10:00

Picture the Holidays :: you hold the key

2010-12-05T22:27:00.000+10:00

What resets you? What is your deep breath? The thing that anchors and feeds. It can be so many things, but for me a good cup of tea and some daily bread are things I will always return to as the 'key' back to my centre.

November, where did you go?

2010-12-04T16:45:00.001+10:00

rooms to set up * frogs to catch * little sisters to make into forest princesses * animals to tend to * machinery to purchase or else be lost in the long grass * golden hair to brush * marigolds, snow peas, asian greens to tend and eat * friends to share this new space with over tea and grace (what could be better!!) * tears to shed * children's lunches to make and be checked before entering the school bag * replacing and moving bits and pieces of furniture, frames, rugs etc until it is just right * baths to have now that we have one, oh such bliss and so much more...

Now onto December, to prepare my heart, to slow down, to breath deep and exhale with thankfulness.

now eleven

2010-12-01T13:01:00.000+10:00

doing battle with real thanks

2010-11-08T20:14:00.000+10:00

* being broken
* a boy with some boxes
* reading Bollygum to listening ears
* a calves milky muzzle
* her loud singing up and down aisles embarrassing older siblings
* brothers laughing
* seven year old laying with new furry friend
* clean pillow cases
* her sitting up in bed reading
* a froggie at the window
* friendly strangers
* seeing smiles at 3:30pm
* nests and the new life
* prayers
* new spaces
* afternoon sunlight
* waterholes with friends
* moths not seen before
* first rides and the utter delight on her face
* the 'show' in all its ruralness, definitely are yearly affair
* the light shining in dark places

Norman and Grace

2010-11-04T22:02:00.000+10:00

today

2010-11-01T15:45:00.000+10:00

today marks a new season for us.
today I've prayed all day for two particular people
today has been so much quieter than usual
today Zach was a bit lost
today I couldn't wait to hop in the car and drive five minutes to the village
today I knew I was doing the right thing
today I gave thanks for his peace which surpasses all understanding
today I surrounded my heart with the knowledge that when I'm not there, he is.

home :: fun and beauty

2010-10-30T15:01:00.001+10:00

home

2010-10-19T20:14:00.000+10:00

picture fall: day 6: subtleties

2010-10-07T18:02:00.001+10:00

our one lone chicken ( the other two those puppies got to) has started laying again! Day 7: After the Fall

And on another note:
Through bleary eyes I'm weaving my way through towers of boxes, odds and ends, 3 baskets of washing and more to come, piles of stuff that emerged form some hidden hole within these four walls. It's starting to feel so real now. The kids are counting down the 'sleeps' until we move in to 'our farm'. Six acres of greenness on the NSW north coast that will soon be ours. ...but for now back to the boxes.

photo fun

2010-10-06T09:33:00.001+10:00

~hidden beauty~

This month I am having some fun with picture fall. I thought I would share it here and perhaps you will join in the fun and add a link to your own blog in the comments.

~morning light~

~comfy place~

~little reminders~
tomorrows topic: subtleties

how the children amuse themselves whilst mama is packing (trying to)

2010-10-05T17:17:00.001+10:00

~ eldest boy cooking stir-fry for lunch

~ capturing and dealing with prisoners

~ resting whilst listening to the story of The Littlest mermaid

~ kids packing their trinkets and treasures

~ counting down the days

~ finding old lego maps and sharing the story

As well as-

getting into the milo tin
taking turns on the iphone playing Doodle Jump
playing animal babies
making cubby houses in mama's room
folding
sadly pulling apart lego creations for transporting
playing hunters and animals
fighting about the rules of hunters and animals
getting hurt whilst playing hunters and animals
watching Ben 10 (Bella's choice)
having 'Zachie time'
engaging mama in intense conversations over differing parenting styles and learning to accept that others do it differently from us

and the day slips away and what is done is done.

give us ears

2010-10-03T09:41:00.001+10:00

It is a beautiful, overcast & rainy Sunday morning. With fresh made coffee in hand I close my eyes and still my mind and heart and wait...wait to hear.
Waiting to hear beyond myself...his whispers.

He speaks music, beauty, peace...its so simple. Why do I complicate things? Why does it take me so long to sit with him, hear him...be still.

The Din Undoes Us

(written in anticipation of reading 1 Samuel 2-3: [Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening])

Our lives are occupied territory…
occupied by a cacophony of voices,
and the din outdoes us.

In the daytime we have no time to listen,
beset as we are by anxiety and goals
and assignments and work,
and in the night the voices are so confusing
we can hardly sort out what could possibly be your voice
from the voice of our mothers and our fathers
our best friends and our pet projects,
because they all sound so much like you.

We are people over whom that word shema has been written.
We are listeners, but we do not listen well.
So we bid you, by the time the sun goes down today
or by the time the sun comes up tomorrow,
by night or by day,
that you will speak to us in ways that we can hear
out beyond ourselves.
It is your speech to us that carries us where we have never been,
and it is your speech to us that is our only hope.
So give us ears.
Amen.

~ Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth: Prayers of Walter Brueggemann.

I can see clearly again, I have his song in my heart and I sing. I sing praise for the beauty around me, I sing thanks for the noisemakers- those four that He is using to bring me to my knees; before him, with him, in him. And in that place 'I am carried to the places I have never been', only dreamed of.
Yes, Lord give me ears.

today I am thankful for

2010-09-30T13:00:00.001+10:00

~ seeing these two growing boys working at cleaning .

~ her soft love and that she wants all sorts of kisses: butterfly kisses, nose kisses and extra lovey kisses ( which means when your not expecting it she sticks her tongue out and licks all over).

~ that somewhere deep inside there is still a carefree girl who loves to wear flowers in her hair and sing loudly as she walks down the street.

~ that my little ones know that racing inside with color brings a smile to this face.

~ kids who amuse themselves with cubby houses while mama is busy packing, sneezing and generally stressing out over HOW much there is to pack and where to start and what to cook for dinner.

~ reminders from young hands that point me in the right direction.

kingscliff [collections]

2010-09-29T13:55:00.002+10:00

kingscliff [beach]

2010-09-28T13:20:00.001+10:00